Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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