were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
