Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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