You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
