i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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