covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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