Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
