Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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