The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
