I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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