in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
