coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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