so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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