Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
