I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
