it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
