Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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