He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
