I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
