i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
