She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
