Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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