Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
