I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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