I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize