What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
