I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
