The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize