The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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