The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
