If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
