Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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