I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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