i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
