I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
