just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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