You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Boobs speak an international language.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Randomize
