im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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