i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
