just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
