my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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