"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
