her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
