I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize