based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
