Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
