You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
