she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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