she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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