He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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