I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Randomize
