its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just want nice things and good sex
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
