Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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