that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
