Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
