Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
