my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
