So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
