My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
