I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I need to stop coming to work sober
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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