So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
