sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
