guys are not supposed to queef...right?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize