well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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