Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
