It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
