you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
