oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
