his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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