My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
