they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
