so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
